Stop Waiting For Your Real Life To Begin

L.A. is a tough town to live in. Show business is a tough as fangs business to work in. We know that. But one aspect that makes both of these arenas particularly difficult is the fact that this city has a Never-never-land element to it—one where actors refuse to be happy or financially responsible in the now, but chronically push such elements off into the future when they’ve achieved some tabloid-worthy success. 

Below is some of the most classic shit actors say that gets in their way and some of the most destructive. If you can overcome it, you’ll be happier than you ever imagined.

“If I get this job, I’ll never ask for anything else…”
“If I book a ___, I’ll know I’ve made it!”
“I’ll be happy once I’m a series regular.” 
“I’ll start saving money once I’m making six figures.”

It’s really great and important to have such goals, but if your goals start getting in the way of your day-to-day happiness and your ability to act like a human being by being present in your daily life, your goals have now become obstacles. 

How to make your ambition your friend and not your enemy. Essentially, you need to put your ambition in check, be happy now, and stop hedging all of your happiness on outside forces that you can’t control. 

How many times have you let the entire day pass you by as you waited for your phone to ring to find out if you got that part, that call-back, that agent, or manager?

You are at the mercy of so many external factors as an actor. An unfathomable amount of decisions are out of your control. Despite your very best efforts to book a role, you might be too short, too blonde, or not a close enough relative to the producer. Many key details that stand between you and your desired outcome are out of your hands and it can leave you feeling very unsteady. 

You have a responsibility to take control of your inner world. Not to bemoan how unfair the industry is or to push your happiness to some pie-in-the-sky day. Your job is to be centered. How? Stop waiting for your “real life” to begin and enjoy, relish in, find all the peace and pride in the life you are living in, right now.

Take a break and enjoy the sunset. Take time to fall in love and have your heart broken and to very creatively plot revenge on that jerkface. Being happy now is your responsibility as an artist. We forget that. 

Ambition is the obsession with the end result. Tenacity and grit is the moment by moment. While ambition may have planted the seed of where you’d like to go, you don’t let it drive you there—you don’t hand over the responsibly. Ambition will eat you alive. Center yourself so that your ambition doesn’t take over the show.

Easier said than done? Whether you’re a beginner or an Academy Award winner, the same series of questions plague us all. What if I fail? What if I never work again? What if I made the wrong choice to work on this or that film and it ruins my brand? What will happen to my career now that I’m aging, now that I’m larger, now that it has been three years since I’ve been on a series…? Believe it or not, there is no top of the mountain, there will always be peaks and there will always be valleys.

As Julianne Moore memorably said at the SAG Awards this year, “As an actor, you’re always surprised when things work out.” This means that even established, lauded, and award-winning actors experience a profound sense of what-ifs and wrenching amounts of uncertainty—particularly if that’s something Moore felt compelled to say on the red carpet. 

One of my clients is currently in the process of creating an original series for HBO. As exciting as this sounds, he is absolutely terrified. He feels that it could all go away in the blink of an eye. He’s right. It could. He’s also always extremely grateful and excited, as this is a huge career milestone. The lesson to be learned is that once one mountain is conquered, the view unfolds before you with a vast valley of new mountains which all need to be conquered.  

What you have control over. You have control over delivering the best performance you possibly can. I help my clients book their roles by making fun and impactful choices in the room. Wherever you are in your career, love what you are doing. Wherever you aim to end up, be grateful for where you are at and what you have right now. 

We often hear amazing performers recount their experience of their best performances as such: “I genuinely can’t remember what happened on stage, I was completely lost in the moment. I’m so glad you enjoyed the performance.” They were living in their performance as it happened. Chances are, they weren’t 20 minutes ahead of themselves, removing their make-up in the dressing room and planning what to make for dinner. They weren’t thinking to themselves as they recited “To Be or Not to Be…,” “Yeah, this speech is gonna win me that Tony award…I wonder what I should wear…” The future doesn’t belong to any of us. All you have is this moment.

This article was originally posted on Backstage

Do Actors Need College Degrees?

Photo Source: Jesse Balgley

Yes, you can definitely forge a successful, thriving career as an actor without a degree in theater—much the same as you can become a successful filmmaker without going to film school, or be a successful writer without a BA or MFA in creative writing. Institutions often struggle to bridge the gap between classic theater training and technique and preparing the actor for the styles and demands of an ever-changing film and TV industry. The trained actor will find they need to supplement their training with classes in multi- and single-camera sitcom technique, motion capture, self-taping, cold-reading, etc., in order to be competitive at the Olympic level of the industry. 

That said, a theater degree is a truly special experience during one’s collegiate years, and is one which I would never trade for anything. It can offer a strong foundation, solid work ethic, and give precious hands-on experience in a fun and challenging environment with talented, like-minded individuals—people who can offer invaluable support and collaboration as you grow as an artist.

This article was originally posted on Backstage

3 Ways To Stand Up For Yourself In The Biz

These columns have talked a lot about rejecting the herd mentality and stopping following the advice churned out by other actors who cling to a cookie-cutter path to success. The reality is that part of your journey as an actor means you need to figure out how you carve your own path to success. Figuring it out is part of what you’ve committed to on this journey. You know that your successful career won’t look like anyone else’s.

But what about the curve balls that get thrown at you as you’re diligently hoeing the row in front of you? 

Here are some obstacles—or hits in the groin—that can undermine your confidence and your love of the industry. How you handle them determines your success in the business. 

1. The casting couch. Many female actor clients complain that when they go to film festivals to network, they can’t tell whether directors and producers they meet want to sleep with them or cast them. Any producer or director that is considering your work first would never want to alienate their relationship with you by muddying the water with innuendo. So if you sense innuendo using your sharp intuition, then you’re probably right. 

Be very discerning about who you give your personal phone number to, as that can easily be misinterpreted as more personal and less professional. One of my celebrity clients just returned from Sundance to promote her film and network with writers, directors, and producers. She noted, that upon her return, her phone starting blowing up with text message solicitations for dinners and drinks. That’s fine, and I know some actors who can finesse such attention and direct it to career opportunities. This is extremely tricky, however. For many actors, solicitations for dinner and drinks can become awkward and murky territory. To avoid these headaches altogether, I recommend only giving out an email address. If you want to give a number, either give your rep’s number, or create a separate Google Voice account where you have the control to forward it anywhere you like. 

2. You’re publicly humiliated. What to do when you’re being humiliated at an audition? An actor client recently told me a story of an audition where a casting director humiliated her in front of a group of other actors by grabbing her stomach and telling her she needed to lose a few pounds in order to be taken seriously for the role. The irony of this situation was that the casting director herself was extremely overweight. In moments like these, put aside your desire to book for a second and address the human survival issues that are immediately at hand. If left handled poorly or not at all, such instances of humiliation by industry “professionals” directed towards actors can result in psychological damage and other horrors. I advise my clients to stand up for themselves. An appropriate response for my client would either be to just walk out—as they’re simply not worth your time—or say, “It’s a shame that you feel such profound self-hatred that you have an overwhelming need to project it outwards.” If you don’t want to be confrontational, look at this person with extreme pity, as they deserve not your hatred, but your deepest sympathy. Then leave. 

3. Your friend blows up. This is the friend you moved out to L.A. with. Your friend went through it all with you. Antagonistic, abusive acting teachers, hooking up with scene partners, catering and serving gigs, crummy apartments in the valley, and fighting for one-line co-stars. Now your friend has caught a major break and is able to leverage it to lift herself up and out of the ranks of the no-name actors. Everything has changed. She goes to Soho house. She has heavy-hitting reps. She competes for roles and runs into celebrities in the waiting rooms of casting offices. You, however, are still slugging it out, slinging drinks and trying to get noticed. 

If this is really your friend, she’ll throw you a bone and try to help you as much as possible; this will mostly come via the form of introductions. She is someone who can help inch you forward—somewhat. The responsibility is still all yours and she needs to focus on her new career.

Know that the only justice that comes with the business of acting is that it’s so hard for everyone. Here today, gone today (as Chris Rock once said). While your friend may be doing phenomenally and that’s wonderful, the pressure is on her even more, and she still feels that she’s just an inch away from the edge of the cliff into obscurity. 

Being able to roll with the punches helps to show the universe that you are ready, willing, and able to handle a higher level of success, as more success mean more curve balls thrown your way. Treat each curveball as an opportunity to demonstrate your professionalism and your backbone of steel.

This article was originally posted on Backstage

6 Signs You're Ready For Pilot Season

As one of the most competitive acting season approaches, you spend your days preparing mentally, physically, and emotionally. Here are six signs you’re ready for pilot season.

1. You don’t buy into the myth of representation. You’re not lulled into a false sense of security that your agent or manager will pitch you for every role you’re right for. The responsibility of getting into the room is your burden alone. You know how to pitch yourself for every role you’re right for and you don’t blame your overwhelmed reps with their often overly full rosters for not getting you into the room. 

2. You’re a worthy opponent. This is the Olympic level of the game. You must be at your absolute best before going into major casting offices, otherwise you risk closing more doors than you open. To stay competitive, you must get a vigorous acting workout every week. I cannot stress the importance of a small class where you work every week! At my studio, every student leaves every class having experienced an undeniable acting breakthrough, or they don’t sit down! 

It’s also important to have a clear context for the work you bring into class. Ideally the pieces you devote your time to should not be just for the bubble of the class: it should have a clear context (film, TV, or theater) and purpose (scene study, refine audition technique, practice cold-reading, fine-tune a workshop piece). 

3. You don’t fight your personality, you embrace it. You’ve long stopped trying to guess what “they” are looking for. You know that it’s your job to assume you are what they are looking for. You’ve done the work and have brought yourself to the piece with fun and impactful choices.

4. You’ve got a backbone of steel. This business is so tough, it’s practically a war zone. If you’re really, truly ready for pilot season, you’re able to shrug off the near-misses, almost-bookings, and toxic industry members with grace and aplomb. Being pinned or put on hold for a major role and then not booking it happens to actors in this business every goddamn day. The real professionals shake it off and resume their place in the chain-gang. Nor does some poisonous casting director rattle you or some eye-rolling producer who yawns through your audition. You don’t take any of the garbage seriously or personally because you know your survival in this business depends on it. 

5. You’re a walking encyclopedia. You realize that part of your responsibility as a professional actor means being acquainted with the style, tone, and expectations of the different networks. You understand that you could take a single scene and do it 12 different ways for 12 different networks. You know which networks prefer actor performances that are more grounded, and which prefer more character-y reads. You know which networks like comedic performances that are more “up” and which like those that are more “thrown away.” You have this knowledge hardwired to your brain like the last four digits of your social security and you are able to adapt at the snap of one’s fingers. 

6. You’ve got a sense of perspective. At the end of the day, the cards are going to fall where they’re going to fall. You understand that as professional, talented, and deserving as you may be, you might not end up attached to a pilot when all is said and done. And even if you are one of the lucky few who books a pilot, you understand that its success and longevity is largely out of your hands. Whatever happens, you get that there is only a finite amount of what you can control, and you’re at peace with that. 

This article was originally posted on Backstage

A Toast To Your Successes

I can’t tell you how many times a client has told me about a recent booking only to tag the news stone-faced with “Yeah, but it’s just a short film,” or “Yeah, but it’s just a pilot,” or “Yeah, but it’s just a small theater company.” However small, it’s vital you acknowledge your successes—all of them! Essentially, if you’re competing in the playing field of New York, L.A., Chicago (or hell, even New Orleans these days), there’s really no such thing as a small success. You’re playing a hand at a casino in Vegas, kids. Any achievement is worth bragging about. And I mean, any booking whatsoever. 

This is a never-ending journey. There will always be work ahead of you. If you don’t acknowledge your triumphs along the way, you will be in a constant state of misery. Beating out 20 other actors for a well-written student film is an accomplishment. Beating out 200 other actors for a celebrity-studded festival-bound indie is also an accomplishment. Now, to most actors, the latter matters and the former is nothing to feel good about.

That attitude is so problematic because there’s always going to be work and struggle in this business. This is what you all signed up to do. You all signed up for a career path where the future is for the most part, more uncertain than the accountant’s down the hall. Thus, if you book a short film and then piss all over it, you’re not only setting yourself up for a lifetime of feeling inadequate, you’re setting yourself up for a serious, lack of longevity—dangerously so.

If you don’t start celebrating each success today, you’re not going to be able to make a real go of it in this business. It’s just going to be too morale-crushing. You’d have to be a straight-up masochist (and I mean a sleeps-in-a-bed-of-barbed-wire-drinks-battery-acid type of masochist) to endure this career path without smelling and celebrating each and every rose along the way. The alternative is worse: The lack of acknowledging one’s successes almost puts one in a situation where there’s no possibility for surprises—a dynamic which could be incredibly detrimental to the safe and successful blossoming of your career at large.

Sometimes I find my clients are viewing their careers through the eyes of everybody back home. The fact of the matter is a lot of people “back home” who don’t work in the industry don’t really think much of a short film that is never going to be in their local theaters. They only care if that pilot you booked gets picked up and they can watch it on their television in the living room. Many of the successes that I see my clients have—successes which take a lot of talent and perseverance—really don’t mean a hill of beans to Uncle Marty and Aunt Fanny or your cousin Alyssa. Lord knows it’s rough being an actor and when you see your family, you feel like you have to give them a report card of “how things are going.” When you mention that short film you booked, it’s met with tepid excitement and canned encouragement. Situations like these are tough, and it’s easy to take on the perspective of these people and view these smaller projects as nothing more than a way to kill time. 

If you’ve made the noble and brave decision to be an actor, you’ve already decided to stop living life on someone else’s terms. So stop ranking out your accomplishments according to what the schoolteachers and investment bankers in your families think of them. This can be especially difficult, because progress in this field doesn’t resemble progress in other industries. In fact, just reading for a major part is a sign of massive progress. However, to people outside the industry it looks like you’re bragging about having a job interview while you still remain unemployed. 

I help my career clients to compete for every role they’re right for. I see it as my job to help empower my students to boost their audition rates, so that they understand how to get their foot in the door to be just as important as helping them book their roles and reach their Oscar potential. 

One of my career clients was just asked by the director of a major upcoming feature film to audition via Skype for him and one of the producers. This was an opportunity this actor would have never had had I not taught her the right way to properly pitch herself for roles she’s right for. Rather than celebrating the opportunity and putting all of her energy into preparing for this Skype audition, she complained that she didn’t have a good reel to send them, after they requested to see something on tape. Just getting the opportunity to audition for top tier film and TV roles is a major milestone for this actor. Rather than celebrating this triumph, she complained that there was another mountain in front of her after reaching the summit of the one she so desperately desired to climb. Adopting an attitude of constant defeat is unsustainable and exhausting, and ultimately leads to actors leaving the business.

Rather than drowning in defeat, start by making a list of the good things that happened to you in your career so far. Know that things might get easier, but not by much, and that most of this is a mental battle. After wrapping a recent film, Gwyneth Paltrow said to me, “I know it sounds awful, but it’s stressful not knowing when the next job is coming.” Accept that it’s tough for even Oscar-winning actors, and that there’s something beautiful in such a life choice—if you allow yourself to see it. 

This article was originally posted on Backstage

Is Your Skin Thick Enough For This Business?

I’ve talked a lot about certain traits an actor has to possess at the bare minimum in order to be successful. A true, deep-seated love of acting is one of them, along with proactive efforts, the knowledge that only you can make your career happen, and a dedication to the craft—all wrapped up with a bow of teeth-gritting tenacity. I cannot emphasize enough that these attributes are the bare essentials for success, given the difficulty of making a career in acting. However, one trait that we haven’t talked about enough is the necessity of thick skin.

It is absolutely crucial to have thick skin—so much of one’s success in show business truly depends on this. I cannot tell you how many times I have encountered or worked with actors andthought, “Wow, so talented, but just doesn’t have the stomach for this business.” These are often actors who need more hand-holding, who worry more about what people think, who spend hours or even days after an audition replaying everything that happened in the room in their mind. 

I’m sure some thin-skinned people have somehow managed to forge lasting careers for themselves, but I’m also willing to bet they’re the minority. When you “make it,” you open yourself up to even greater scrutiny—especially now in the age of the Internet. It never fails to amaze me how there are hundreds of thousands of people out there who revel in hating talented actors whom they’ve never met. Some of my celebrity clients have Tumblr pages and entire blogs dedicating to hating them and how “f—ing annoying” they are.

The point is that if you don’t have thick skin, and when you get to this level of success, you’re going to want to bleed out in a bathtub of warm water. If you can’t handle a casting director telling your representation that you “didn’t seem connected” in the room, how are you going to handle A.O. Scott calling your performance “wooden” (or worse), as such criticism is pretty mild for Scott and some of the other notorious critics. Imagine having a nationally recognized critic refer to your performance in a major motion picture as “evocative of someone trying to paint by numbers while locked inside a casket.” Again, now is the time to develop thick skin. If you don’t have any, then you better start growing some fast. If you already have thick skin, it’s time to do everything you can to reinforce it. 

Having thick skin truly does revolve around your ability to not give a fuck about what others think—even if you look like an asshole or a freak. Even if your closest and dearest friends say, “Hey, when you did that thing, you really looked like an asshole-y freak.” You need to be able to commit to whatever it is you’ve done (or are going to do) and let everyone else have a blast judging you, calling you a weirdo, calling you a talentless hack, calling you desperate, or seeking attention, or mentally defective. 

One way to help develop thick skin is to regularly do things that take you out of your comfort zone. Make a speech at that wedding. Do five minutes of stand-up comedy. Join an improv team and actually invite people you know to shows. Be a street performer for a day. Tell a joke to strangers on the subway, or in an elevator, or in line at the coffeehouse. The best part about this exercise: the worse your performance, the shittier the speech, stand-up routine, street performance, random joke…the more effectively and faster you grow thick skin. Why? Because you’ll probably see the looks of pain, horror, disgust, or pity that flit across peoples’ faces. And all those looks will be the result of something you did. 

At the end of the day, you’ll realize that the worst responses to whatever you’ve done are when people don’t respond at all—when you’re ignored or dismissed or treated like you don’t exist. And those might be the moments when you develop the thickest skin.

This article was originally posted on Backstage